I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
