The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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