didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize