So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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