i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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