just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
