I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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