dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
