I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
