i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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