Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
