I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
