Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
