I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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