We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
