As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
