Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
