these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
