My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
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