I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
