can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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