Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
