mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize