The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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