I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
