I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
