i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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