if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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