They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i dont even know how to be here
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I love you.
Bad choice
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