Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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