I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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