She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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