that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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