I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
