Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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