why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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