oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
