I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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