I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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