i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
