Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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