so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
