Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
