I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
