so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
