the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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