I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
