i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
