drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
