First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
