Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hippo gnu deer
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
