why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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