You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
