When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
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