I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hippo gnu deer
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
