Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...