I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.