There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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