Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
