Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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