All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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