why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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