He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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