I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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