a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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