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Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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