apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Watching her eat just hurts me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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