I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
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the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
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i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.