the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
