Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun. http://tfl.nu/lec0
  Replies (67) Good night (3379) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it... http://tfl.nu/nw7o
  Replies (19) Good night (2681) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case http://tfl.nu/xr3i
  Replies (17) Good night (4583) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while. http://tfl.nu/9oye
  Replies (8) Good night (3983) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips. http://tfl.nu/o6k6
  Replies (15) Good night (1660) Bad night (2995)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer http://tfl.nu/zm3w
  Replies (24) Good night (8470) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py
  Replies (13) Good night (2521) Bad night (3230)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And by one day I mean once every two weeks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob. (604): And by one day I mean once every two weeks. http://tfl.nu/w0wa
  Replies (14) Good night (3053) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War http://tfl.nu/ppmx
  Replies (1) Good night (837) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/j76u
  Replies (1) Good night (976) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life. http://tfl.nu/feu1
  Replies (6) Good night (402) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk. http://tfl.nu/m630
  Replies (7) Good night (1409) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vag is like the Sahara

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ew that's gross.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The sad truth. Barren and empty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): My vag is like the Sahara (215): Ew that's gross. (267): The sad truth. Barren and empty. http://tfl.nu/3klg
  Replies (9) Good night (342) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college http://tfl.nu/8jl4
  Replies (6) Good night (362) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning http://tfl.nu/qrro
  Replies (0) Good night (545) Bad night (260)

Randomize