Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"

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  (208): Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores" http://tfl.nu/e2re
  Replies (37) Good night (918) Bad night (8649)
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  (714): View more from California

  why do cheetos always look like penises

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  (714): why do cheetos always look like penises http://tfl.nu/nqxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3661) Bad night (1309)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.

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  (479): This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy. http://tfl.nu/jw79
  Replies (14) Good night (3675) Bad night (1200)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market

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  (919): yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market http://tfl.nu/5w22
  Replies (7) Good night (3671) Bad night (1167)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids

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  (773): halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids http://tfl.nu/g564
  Replies (19) Good night (4295) Bad night (1316)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know

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  (785): One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know http://tfl.nu/bbwr
  Replies (14) Good night (1638) Bad night (3055)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.

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  (519): We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet. http://tfl.nu/qx6i
  Replies (4) Good night (1004) Bad night (2216)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

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  (305): quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you http://tfl.nu/hg35
  Replies (9) Good night (5209) Bad night (852)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...

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  (608): There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position... http://tfl.nu/q8gr
  Replies (3) Good night (2016) Bad night (601)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.

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  (970): Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved. http://tfl.nu/n0se
  Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (987)
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  (310): View more from California

  I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.

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  (310): I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too. http://tfl.nu/waf5
  Replies (2) Good night (1307) Bad night (490)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.

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  (306): I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better. http://tfl.nu/dkdn
  Replies (8) Good night (1360) Bad night (487)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...

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  (416): Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list... http://tfl.nu/tcm7
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (325)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month

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  (773): In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month http://tfl.nu/vo21
  Replies (6) Good night (1269) Bad night (199)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid

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  (604): Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/spz2
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (212)

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