dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
